Re: Running on Fumes [Private, Ask First] (Dated)

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy sat atop a throne in an ornate dining hall, not that he could see much of its ornate-ness, having been blinded by his great uncle Lord Cedric Leopold the Nineteenth. That was before the succession wars though and his kingdom was at rest now. He could hear the troubadours on their kazoo's, just going at it like noponies business, and the dukes and nobles were frolicking and merry.

Jimmy remembered! There were emissaries from foreign legions at his doorstep. He had to be a gracious host, no?

Jimmy slid off of his throne and dragged himself across the cushy flooring, kicking himself forwards to the front door in increments. Almost.... THERE! He leapt up and tore the door open with a phenomenal surge of strength. "I can't see you, but the way in is right here!" he exclaimed to what he assumed were two Griffon emissaries. Though he was confident that one was actually a duck.

Jimmy momentarily forgot his manners, but was right on it. He noticed one was unadorned so he tore off a sheet of tapestry from the wall and rushed forwards to drape it over them like a noble cape.

[Sten Softclaw]

Some opening was torn aside, and Sten could just about make out the size of the room through the dark. It looked pretty big, so Sten made the natural connection that big=grand. Thus, he was clearly in a place of some prestige. It only stood to reason.

"Hullo," he said, as something shouted a greeting at him. It didn't sound too angry, whatever it was.

Meanwhile, something damp and heavy went past him and hit the other griffon.

[Kroll]

Kroll staggered backwards as something thick and damp hit him square in the face, it's awful decayed smell invading his nostrils. After a brief fit of coughing and spluttering the griffon regained his composure. "What...was that for?!" he rasped out. He inhaled sharply, feeling very winded and light-headed all of a sudden. "I...could've been seriously injured if that wasn't so soft and doughy..."

He dropped to a knee, panting wearily as his vision began to blur. "Who...hare? Is it just me or is it...getting hotter...? he clutched his head with a claw to keep it from drifting off as he lay down in the muck of the sewer floor, his body slightly sinking into the ground with a lazy squelching noise.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy grabbed the Griffon by the nape and dragged him inside. Kroll looked nice propped up against his throne, or really, Jimmy assumed he looked nice. Sensory deprivation tends to skew your knowledge of looks. Jimmy figured he looked -so- nice in fact, that he must have been a gift. No other possible explanation fit- Kroll was clearly a gift that he should be using right -now.

Jimmy climbed onto Kroll and sat upon his back. "Come in, Lord Quackington, we have need of porridge," he shouted out to Sten.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten soured a little at the use of his maiden name, but nodded nonetheless.

"Of course. There's a humidor just down the way," he said, pointing the way. He patted Kroll on the back. "They might even have some hay for your valet."

[Kroll]

Kroll groaned as he felt the stallion crawled over his body, lolling his head as Sten pat him on the shoulder. "Karlsson, what the hell are you talking abouuut?" the captain slurred out as he swayed forward,burying his head in his arms as he lay face down on the ground. "Stop...putting shaved chocolate in my..." he trails off as he falls asleep, snoring loudly.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy scooted forwards on the valet, using his forceful earth pony legs to slide Kroll forwards through the muck. He gradually accumulated a large amount of the sludge, but it added to the ease with which Kroll glided over the surface of the cave floor. They finally reached the humidor, a gigantic box shaped box with all manner of box-y qualities to it. Namely, being heavily rectangular on each of its faces and being of the disposition that right angles were heavenly.

Jimmy entered, dragging Sten and Kroll in. "A'right Gents, there's a reason I brought the two of you down here. I need you sworn to secrecy, the both of you. Now, do you agree not to repeat a thing you hear today, on your mother's honor?"

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten sloughed his way through the blood, hanging in the wake of Jimmy and his valet on their way to the humidor. If he was honest, he thought decorating the place in gore was overdoing it.

The humidor was just as advertised, but judging from the look of it, barely half-full, and for some reason, Jimmy thought now would be a good time for a man to man chat.

"On both my mother's honour," said Sten, one claw on his heart.

[Kroll]

Kroll groaned as he was slid through the muck-covered bottom of the sewers, his ears swimming with sound as his consciousness played a narcoleptic tennis match. When he heard somebody tell him to make an oath of some sort, his brain lazily put together a reply before ordering his voice to spit it out. 

"I...dun'h 'ave...un"

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy frowned. He was never a master at arithmetic, but he assumed that the one of them having two mothers made up in some substantial way for the other of the two not having any.

"Allright, I had something to say right about now, but now I forgot what it was. Aren't we supposed to be looking for something? I can't quite nail it.... something familiar..."

He looked about the dark humidor, and withdrew a well-rolled cigar. He offered one to Sten, then took one for himself. "Got a lighter?" he asked the Penguin.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten took the cigar and chewed it thoughtfully.

"Tastes just fine raw to me," he said, rolling the tube between his fingers. "Anyway, I wouldn't want to risk a lighter down here in case it destabilises the monarchy."

[Kroll]

At this point, Kroll was so deep in the muck that covered the floor of the chamber that he was able to slide out from underneath the strange stallion that had been riding him up until now. As he slowly rose up his head felt like it weighed a ton, mainly attributed to the thick much that coated it. He could hear chittering in his peripheral hearing, and realized he dozed off during the ceremony. Wheeling about to face his audience, he realized that the bride and groom had left quite some time ago, leaving only the attendees looking on in confusion. They may have left, but dammit, someone was going to get married one way or another. 

"Druids!" he screams at this Sten and Jimmy, clamping a claw on each of their shoulders. "If any of you find a reason why these two ugly monsters should not be made...you know what? Screw you! With the power vested in me, by the pastry shop on the corner of 8th and Ashton, I now pronounce you lame duck, and retired bar wench..." his head swivels to look at Sten, his pupils the size of quarters. "Except for you, pigeon, you're a penis now."

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy was a bit upset. No lighter and apparently he was talking to a penis. A bit typical for these nights, but normally the face to the penis was a lot nicer looking- some transies have no dignity.

"Now- now this wont do at all. I figured out what I forgot... "

Jimmy walked back out of the humidor and saw a bright field of green opening up before him. In the center of the field a massive rock sat, covered in lichens and wildflower vines. Jimmy's sledge was wedged ablong along its top, crooked to an angle. The clouds above formed a ring around the scene, and rays of brilliant sunlight shone down and glinted the smooth surface of the stone.

Jimmy entered the humidifier and dragged his cleric and penis-wizard out into the sunlight. "Check that for traps-" he said, pointing to his weapon imbedded on the stone. "We need that if we're going to fight off the omens come nighttime. If there's some sort of magical ward on it, we know we got company."

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten hung his head in existential angst and slumped by the exit to the humidifier. Was he a griffon, or was he a penis? The ancient dilemma swathed itself around his shoulders like a really loose brick wall.

"Go on without me, he muttered. "I'll only slow you down."

He cast an eye at the beautiful, pastoral landscape before him and knew he could never enter it. Not with his troubles.

[Kroll]

Kroll casted a look of glazed fury unto the feathery phallus, which had sprouted a colorful parrot head that looked on in grim resignation as it wallowed in self pity. "Take your balls out of your purse and join us, you conceited parakeet!" the captain screeched as he grabbed ahold of Sten and proceeded to drag him along. "Friends! Today we travel at the speed of dreams!" he cried triumphantly.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

"Aaaaaah" he hollered. "Traaaaaaaaps. SHUTUP AND LOOK FOR TRAPS!" He pushed the two headlong into the field, keeping himself at leg's length should something pop out. True to form, a gigantic millipede appeared as they triggered a tripwire trap. Jimmy looked at it, and began slowly walking the other way, allowing his two power-classes to tackle the miniboss.

"Tell me when this trap is disarmed guys, we need to keep moving."

The millipede was about forty foot long and had serrated pincers longer then a griffon. Putting the icing on the cake, it was also most certainly part hydra, and would most likely grow extra heads. It looked on, waiting for some sort of action. "Are you guys going to wait there all day or do something?" the Hydrapede asked, working the question out via an otherworldly demon face transfixed to it's torso.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten stood slowly. Penis or no penis, he knew when a situation demanded action. Or rather, a lack of action on the part of the enemy. Or on their part, perhaps. An idea grew.

"I don't know," he said, walking over to the milipede. "Are we going to wait? Can you tell? Because if not, then you really can't say what we'll do next, therefore you can't adequately defend against us, no matter what you do. Therefore, you shouldn't try to fight us, because it's almost a certainty we'll win."

[Kroll]

At the sight of the monstrous insect, Kroll's survival instincts kicked in. Dropping to the floor, the griffon proceeded to slather himself with sludge in attempt to make impromptu camouflage. He looked up from his work to see the creature watch him with in silent judgment. "Fuck you, centipede! You don't know me!" he screamed as he coated himself in more sludge.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy grinned. His cleric and wizard were masterfully engaging the centipede in combat. He watched as the third, and then fourth head of the monster were lopped off by spells and sorcery in rapid succession.

Jimmy blinked, and realized that no, what he had just imagined was in fact false- he saw his penis wizard engaging the centipede in idle conversation, and his cleric was flopping about in the mud like a delicious flounder. Luckily, Jimmy noticed that, as his angle changed, so did his view of the creature.

"Ha! It's not a hydrapede at all! It's a hydrapede-scorpion!" he guffawed, pointing to the hydrapedes painfully embarrassing rear appendage. The hydrapede was sincerely confused at this point, whether from trying to make heads or tails of Sten's argument, just watching Kroll do whatever that was, or trying to explain that really he didn't understand why he should be embarrassed by having a twenty foot long poison stinger on his rear.

"But seriously guys- I don't really understand what's going on here," the demon face reiterated. "This is really.... fucking creeping me out."

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten's lip would have curled, if he'd had lips. As it was, his beak did something weird.

"Well, if you don't like it, you can jolly well leave," he said, sternly. Honestly, they went to all this trouble to fend it off and all it could do was be freaked out. Some people just had no manners.

[Kroll]

Kroll looked down at his body, raising a brow at the sludge covering his body. This may not have been poison, but it sure was the opposite of medicine. His inner thoughts were cut short when the hydrapede's demon face spoke. The griffon locked eyes with the demon face. "Your self-pity sickens me, insect! Your birthday is mine now."

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

The gigantic centipede's face had an expression of utter despair. He scooped Sten up into his massive body-slicing claw, and held him up in the air. "SEE WHAT YOU ARE MAKING ME DO?!" the centipede screamed. "JUST STOP IT OR THIS WIZARD GETS IT."

His face was streaked with hatred and fear, and he looked like he would definitely cut Sten in half if he was given the opportunity. He was engaging in battle mode, and true to form, gigantic menus appeared in front of all related parties asking them in real-time whether or not they'd like to attack, use magic, use an item, or flee.

Jimmy wasn't having any of that business and he just ignored his menu. "JUST KEEP DOING THAT!" Jimmy yelled at his two accomplices. "THIS SEEMS TO BE WORKING!"

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten squirmed in the monster's claw. He'd have hammered the 'flee' button as hard as he could, but unfortunately his arms were pinned to his sides.

"Everybody stay calm!" he said. "Shouting won't solve our problems!"

[Kroll]

The captain cackled madly as he sloshed towards the hydrapede. "THIS IS HOW EVERYONE DIES, CHILDREN!" he screams as he jumps onto the giant insect, wrapping himself around its body in such a way that he's face to face with the creature. "I'm going to carve your face off and wear it as a mask for a costume party." He whispers at the bug with a wide-eyed expression.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

The Demonic Hydrapede freaked out and tossed Sten some distance away. It's tiny centipede arms were insufficiently strong or leveraged to scrape Kroll off of it's face. It tried jabbing Kroll with it's vicious scorpion, tail but hesitated at the prospect of skewering it's own face with the flesh melting toxins. It's eyes darted to Jimmy, begging for mercy, but Jimmy just shrugged.

With the gigantic monster occupied, Jimmy assumed that nothing was stopping him from grabbing his sledge hammer. He waltzed up to the stone and began trying to pry it out, finding that though the stone was unbelievably light, the sledgehammer wouldn't come loose from it. He held it aloft, examining the rock that now attached to his sledgehammer. Although it was more of a boulder, apparently it was deceptively light, made of some form of spongey stoney stuff.

"Allright guys, we're good, we can move on now."

Jimmy started walking off, forgetting that the Hydrapede was still alive and very upset.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten got to his feet (or at least, that was what he called them now) and walked after Jimmy. The ether was looking very inauspicious, and all things considered, he didn't want to have to account for it, or it's slave-drivers. The love-bug was back in it's natural habitat, and god was descending over the hills in the south, with his sisters-in-law-in-tow. The able archer stood by his post, and Kroll seemed to be having fun at least. It was time to make things slower than they ought not to have been, not that it mattered. All was well, and the grass was green.

Or something like that. The most important thing was that he had decided to live and let live with the hydrapede, and hoped it had made the same decision.

[Kroll]

Kroll eyed the centipede with some kind of restrained homicidal wonder. "You meet my gaze?"  he rasped. "What a brave creature you are!" he proceeded to hold up one of his claws in front of the centipede's face, the talons clicking menacingly. "This arm has been inside a fresh kill! It pulses with life force!" the griffon plunges his sludge-covered claw into the centipede's mouth, swirling it around slightly. "I now pass this essence onto you. Feel the gift of the night!"

Midway through, Kroll paused, looking as his accomplices begin to walk off with out him. His head snaps back at the centipede. "Save your fear, insect; I have already eaten. But know that the minoutar always finds his way out of the maze. Always." With that, Kroll slid down the insects body and glided across the floor, after his companions.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy whistled and the trio's mounts cantered up. Jimmy climbed onto the back of his battle-horse, a massive, armored and heralded war steed. Jimmy slung his sledge into it's satchel, which at some point had lost the massive boulder that was attached to it. No doubt the boulder will be a reoccurring NPC in this epic quest.

Jimmy watched the other two steeds walk over- the first, a gargantuan lion, easily dwarfing three ponies height rolled over from the bush it had been hiding under. Whether that speaks well of the lions stealth, or the size of the bush was anyone's guess. It too was covered in lion-armor and heraldry of Sten's noble birthright.

A cuttlefish too rolled out from the bushes. Lord only knows what it had been doing in the bushes with the Lion. Jimmy watched it roll out, suspicious of the highly intelligent cephelapod. The cuttlefish was clearly plotting the ruin of all things sanctified. This would no doubt become a recurring joke throughout the quest.

"Guys, I forgot what we're questing for... I also seem to have forgotten my name... and my home address. Does anyone have any clue what we're doing? Penis-Wizard? Other-Guy?"

[Sten Softclaw]

"We were searching," said Sten, hoisting himself up on to his lion, the brave beast Shithead (cursed by his own parents at birth to have a terrible name). "Searching for someone, I think."

Or were they? Who could they possibly be searching for? Were they simply out here for their own amusement? The quest log gave no clues, having popped off for a smoke mere minutes earlier. Sten turned to it for guidance, but it only shrugged and kept smouldering.

[Kroll]

Kroll approached the cuttlefish and began to circle around it, inspecting the cephalopod's features. "Hrmm...a head with a optimum capacity for licorice storage...ink jets to get crowds going during freestyle haiku battles...flexible fins perfect for greater stability whilst drift racing, and suction-cupped tentacles, perfect for the ample griping of chicken wings." The captain crawled atop the creature, pressing the side of his face into its squishy mantle. "Yeees..." he exhaled

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy frowned at the sight of Kroll. "Disgusting..." he muttered to himself. It almost appeared to be like the griffon was making love with the cephalapod... almost like a cultist. He would watch Kroll.

Jimmy didn't realize that he looked just as stupid, being a horse who was currently mounting another horse.

Jimmy eye'd an expansive palace peaking up over the horizon. He had no clue why it interested him, but clearly that was where they needed to go. "We are going- that way!" he yelled at noone in particular, kicking his horse and trying to make it go. After several false starts, the horse begrudgingly obliged, and began moving off.

His companions seemed slightly slow to start as well.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten followed after Jimmy in traditional desultory fashion. Lions had never made good beasts of burden, and Shithead was worse than most (hence the name), so Sten had to encourage it on with slaps to the head. It moved along crabwise, dawdling behind Jimmy some way.

[Kroll]

The cuttlefish slid across the ground, trailing after Sten and Jimmy as the cromatophores in its skin began to rapidly adjust to accommodate not only its new environment, but also its avian passenger. As the cephalopod pulled up along side Sten and his lion mount, Kroll lazily rolled over to look at the griffon, a dopey grin on his face. "I'm on a banana sled, Fenne!" he slurred as he did a strange, snowangel-like motion in the flesh of his mount -a fleshangel, if you will-. "Come aboaaaard!"

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

"Mmmmmmm no."

They arrived at the distant castle just in time to have the drawbridge lowered. A garrison of small bipedal tree frogs ushered them into the courtyard, before pulling it back up. A tree frog in centurions uniform stood under a flagpole, awaiting their presence. "G-rrrrrrrrrrrrrribbet-eatings! What b-rrrrrrrrrrrrrribbet-ings you to ou-rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbet humble abode?"

"Uhm.... yeah, I was hoping you could tell me. You do realize humble abodes have been outlawed in six out of seven of the tristate areas, right?"

[Kroll]

The cuttlefish eyed the garrison of frogs, attempting to decide whether they were a threat, dinner, or neither. Kroll on the other hand was fixated on Jimmy suspiciously, curious how this stallion was so well-versed in the laws of abodery. He would have to be monitored for such other factoids of wisdom of in the future.

[Sten Softclaw]

Confronted with talking frogs, the lion responded as best it could by throwing Sten off in front of them. He scrambled to his feet, standing on his back legs out of respect for their hosts. He turned to Jimmy, frowning.

"Their humble abodes may be illegal, but I think you'll find their arrogant ones quite acceptable," he said, sternly.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy heard the warlock-at-arms mention speak. Indeed. Perhaps it was a slip of a tongue. It was all the rage nowadays to put up the appearances of humbleness despite the outstanding legal and moral guidelines against it in the field of abodery.

But it was no good. The frogs had realized that their clever ruse-as-a-distraction gambit had failed them and they put away their pretenses at politeness. The drew their weapons, an assemblage of pikes, tiny frog rifles, and of course the noble and oft neglected portable Gatling-crossbow.

Jimmy thought something was extremely suspicious. His suspicion only grew as the tiny frogs leapt at him and started tying him to the ground. "Guys.... somethings suspicious about this."

The frogs leapt at Sten and Kroll in turn, attempting to tie them down.

[Kroll]

Kroll had been rather nonchalant about the frogs, even when they began to crawl all over him. But as soon as they tried to tie him up, the captain lost his damn mind. With a short yelp, the griffon began to thrash about, screaming "Bad touch! Bad touch!" over and over again as he slowly transcended into a tornado of unmitigated and unparalleled destruction, moving towards the abodes at the speed of dreams.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten was not a violent griffon naturally, but although he may have been a different colour, he was still a lion. One frog came at him and he bit its head off. The rest squeaked and scrambled for their weapons, but Sten leapt down and set about them with care, precision and not a little peckishness.

"Bl'udy idiotf," he said, through a mouthful of frog.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Kroll and Sten were really being classless and Jimmy was freaking out. First Kroll started screaming and raving his arms about and then STEN WAS EATING THE FROGS HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKED UP. Jimmy got up from the ground and tried to back away from the lunatic griffon. The frogs peppered him with bullets and arrows, but they were tiny little bullets and he didn't really notice them. Jimmy was more antagonized by Sten, who'd succeeded in thoroughly freaking Jimmy out.

Jimmy grabbed a frog and tossed it at Sten in an attempt to fend of the mad griffon. Jimmy noticed, as he did this, that the frog tasted almost as good as sex. He couldn't help but swallow a little bit of the frog and as soon as that was done, he'd grabbed up another and devoured it in earnest. Tears were streaming down his cheeks because, no matter how good these frogs were, eating them was clearly an abomination of nature and something in Jimmies mind was telling him he was doing something atrocious.

Jimmy was swelling around the belly as he gobbled up his fourteenth consecutive frog, and by now the remaining frogs had lapsed into despair, as their attempts to flee were curtly cut off by the ravenous hunger of Jimmy.

The abodes that Kroll charged were unable to prevent him from doing much being inanimate objects and not in fact, sentient nor intelligible in the least.

A Diagram of Jimmy:

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten watched Jimmy eating the frogs and threw up. Oh gross! Jimmy was eating frogs! What kind of evil psychopath would do that? He decapitated another frog and threw up again.

The frogs seemed to be in retreat now, most of them having been murdered and (urgh) eaten. Their houses had spontaneously combusted and the air filled with the smell of burning frog, which made Sten feel hungry all over again.d

[Kroll]

Kroll laughed like a madbird as he stood amongst the burning abodes, looming over the surviving frogs as the flames began to envelop his body. "I have the power of a thousand suns!" he screamed as he began to advance further into their territory, in search of a greater porpoise.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Suddenly a brilliant light was upon them all, a cacophony of terrible and wondrous angels screaming in the luminescence. Above them all, in the plain of whispering sorrows, an eyelid made a crescent against the sky. It slowly opened, and the eye was without color or pupil, striated in wondrous and horrid veins.

A bulge formed where the iris should of been, and it finally tore open, spewing acrid blood across the land. A single blood-soaked flipper forced itself from the slit, and tore it asunder. Out peered the bloody visage of the triumphant, that hellish grin, the wicked gleam on eye- it was the Greater Porpoise. A dazzlingly resplendent glory washed over everything, coating it in the blood and tissues of a laboring goddess.

The blood puddles that formed converged and formed up into golems- beings lacking of soul, firm in that they were constructed of coagulated blood and flesh.

Jimmy was having none of this- if this was not a culty thing, he did not sincerely know what could be. Jimmy spat the frogs out and looked in vain for somewhere to hide from the judgement of the Greater Porpoise.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten watched the giant, bloodied porpoise and the hideous gore-stained golems that raised themselves up alongside it with an air of dispassionate hatred. Why did it have to come to this? Every time life seemed to be on the up, gods and men announced their decision to make it nosedive.

Still, he had a job to do. Slowly, he lumbered gloriously forward for the battle, laying about the blood golems with a laconic battlecry of "It's all so bloody meaningless."

[Kroll]

Kroll fell to his knees amongst the burning abodes at the sight of the Greater Porpoise, solid tears flowing freely from the back of his head, for they were too ashamed to be seen on his face. Two treefrogs atop the captain's head high-fived each other with their crotches, and at this point, the griffon was completely coated with a new layer of blood from the eye that birthed this cosmic dolphin, and had a small cluster of mushrooms sprouting out of his left shoulder. "Edam evah I ekatsim lufrewop a tahw!" he screams out to nobody in particular.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Kroll was swept up in the becoming of a blood golem. Kroll was the head. The blood golem waved its fleshy arms, trying to feel out the griffony bit that wasn't quite in synch with the rest of the body. The golem shrugged, and let Kroll assume control via that fleshy controls that were offered to him.

Sten, on the other hand, was laying waste to a field of golems. It was almost like they didn't actually exist, what with the efficiency with which he dispatched them. His dire attitude dismayed the golems, who'd come to doubt they're own existences. Or rather, if they had thoughts or communicable emotions, they'd probably be crying. As it were, they were unfeeling lumps of fleshybits, and Sten seemed to be doing just fine with the slaying bit.

Jimmy on the other hand, with his extreme fear of culty things, only managed to smack them feebly with the very smallest of efforts using his sledgehammer. They weren't so easy to slay for him, and Jimmy found himself being forced into the cockpit of one, just as Kroll'd been.

Jimmy bolted to consciousness suddenly, aware in that instant that he was in a sewer(?) and slowly sinking into a very viscous puddle of sediment.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten flailed around the blood golems. They burst unpleasantly, matting his fur and feathers and bogging down his legs. He struggled to keep his balance and stay out of it, but he just sank slowly down in what would've made a good metaphor for his life if the smell of sewage hadn't invaded his nostrils.

Actually, he thought as the brownish blood reached his neck, that made it even more apt, didn't it?

[Kroll]

The griffon screeched with mad laughter as he assumed direct control of his new body, doing a few test poses before blasting up and away in a geyser of blood, his form eventually becoming swallowed in the darkness of the sewer's unseen ceiling. Out of sight and out of mind, the blood that rained back down from the geyser looked much less like blood now, and more like water that had attained an unpleasant viscosity from the sewage that it had mixed in with. Funny how things turn out.

[Jimmy E. Brakes]

Jimmy realized that he'd need to do something terrible. Since Sten was now a flesh-golem-slayer and Jimmy was a flesh-golem-pilot, it was almost as if it were written on the walls, that the two of them would need to duel it out in the worse conceivable way. That way, being in a sewer, as it were.

Jimmy approached Sten, his flesh-golem-mecha wielding Jimmy's hammer in one of its fleshy palms. "Mister Griffon guy- I don't think I ever got your name. But we now have to fight. You seem to be drowning in gore. Thus, I have the advantage."

Jimmy swung his golem-sledge into the muck, shielding his eyes from the resulting splash of sewege/blood. "Also, where did that other griffon-guy go? ANSWER MEEEEE-EEE~!!!" Jimmy screamed as he lashed out once again, again shielding his eyes from the splash of muck.

[Sten Softclaw]

Sten laughed out of nervousness, which ended up being more of a gurgle.

"I don't know," he said, waving his forelegs with as much dignity as he could to stop himself from drowning. "He could be anywhere in here, couldn't he?"

[Sponsored content]