Re: Dungeon Trotters: Falling Angels, Hidden Dice

[Lance]

this griffon was obviously a better fighter than the rest. partially because scrapper wasn't using a weapon. also because he was the first part of the boss fight.

SO, McUnarmandy blocked Scrappers rebounding punch before having his beak/chin/thing shoot up by the uppercut. the griffon, however used the momentum to launch himself into the air in a totally kick-flank aerial back flip, and hovered there for a moment, and then launched himself at scrapper with an epic diagonal FALCON PWNCH. The griffon with the rather large sword simply stayed put and used his zweihander as a thingy to lean on. oh, wait, he... he waved. That's... that's something. and if scrapper bothered to smell, the scent of alcohol had permeated the air, coming from the unarmed griffon.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper took the falcon punch of a hit, then came out with something very logical. "Y'know what? No. I negate you damage there, because you are quite clearly a drunken griffon, not a Falcon with the rank of Captain." Actually, now that he thought about it, if this griffon liked his booze he could just ask if he wanted a drink. Oh man, that's a bad idea but he's full of those. This event can't change that.

Quickly giving a sarcastic wave back to the weapon wielding griffon, he turned back to McFisticuffs, "You drink huh? Tell you what, you stop trying to kill me, and we can have a drink together. Or, you can keep going and miss out on it. Up to you pal." He did actually have some drink on him, he didn't know why it was there. +Strength -Intelligence and all that rubbish. He had an ability that turned him into a blood loving, limb chewing, vein opening psychopath.

[Lance]

Mcfistycuffs sounds like a much better name, glad I thought of it.

so, Mcfistycuffs took a moment to consider Scrapper's request, and then yelled at the top of his lungs and raised a fist for a punch, and hiccupped mid-shout, completely pausing him. and then he sat down on his rear, suddenly. He croaked, "you know maybe I could use so*hiccup* some drink more but the chicken over there finished the last bottle." he then released a rather impressive belch, and it reeked of intoxicated air.

[Scrapper]

"Did he now? Can't go a day without that stuff when you're stuck on a big flying boat." He said in reply. 'Chicken' huh? Well, that could either be a dumb ass nickname, or imply that he is in fact a chicken.

Scrapper took out 3 bottle's of *Insertdrinknamehere* and sat them in-front of the griffon. "You keep hold of these, and I'll go tell that fella over there that his job kinda relies on him not having such a clouded judgement."

He casually walked down the steps and towards the .
With a slightly amused tone of voice, he called out to the weapon-wielder, "Oi! Dafty!"

[Lance]

The sword-armed griffon did not take kindly to that nickname, and pulled up an unusual accent... one Scrapper may or may not recognize. probably will. possibly. (bro. scottish. if you can't sound that out in your head picture tf2 demoman saying this stuff or something.) "Dafty yerself, ya rickle-wearing naig! Halloween's lang syne and the only candibrod yer gettin' is yer own teeth in a plastic bowl!" other than a verbal assault, He didn't do much else to show offense. physical offense, that is.

The other griffon started to float aimlessly... or, well, aiming for every direction, his flight was as ditsy as heck, and he was upside down while his beak never left the quickly emptying bottle of *Insertdrinknamehere.*

[Scrapper]

"Aw, that's nice of you mate. Coming from someone who sounds like he didn't get past school, that really means a lot. thank you!" He said sarcastically, "Is the only thing you can afford a plastic bowl? I can't get a pristine bowl for my teeth? Oh boy, you're killin' me here."

[Lance]

The angry griffon  raised a claw and pointed at Scrapper accusingly, "you know what?  you know what, lad!?" he started a heavy bi-pedal march towards Scrapper, and dug his bottle onto the ground (though it did more of a shatter) and threw his head back, taking a large glug out of  the handle of his zweihander, almost hitting Scrapper with it was he raised his weapon rather inappropriately, and almost hitting Scrapper again when it came back down. Definitely drunk. he tossed his zweihander like he would a bottle of *Insertdrinknamehere.* over his head, nearly hitting Scrapper again, and after one or two flips it landed right on top of the shattered glass, planting itself onto the ground.

He then burst into tears and hugged Scrapper "YER RIGHT. I ditched school to be a soldier... 'be a hero,' they said, 'go out and see the world,' they said, 'make a livin',' they said! but here I am, coin toom on enough drinks to pish a full hoof-er dam! "

the other griffon (who was unarmed) came a bit closer and asked for the nearest bathroom before the zweihander-y one kindly answered "GO LOWP OFF A CLEUCH YA DRUCKEN GITT! WE'RE HAVIN' A MOMENT HERE!"

[Scrapper]

"Oh, c'mon! This effed up world you've got me in makes my head hurt with it's un-realism. There's no way I'd get away with half the things I just did, let me get a damn psycho roll or something, it's much simpler for me... Aw, goddammit! Okay." He said, seemingly talking out to nothing.

Scrapper slowly patted the thick accented griffon on the back, "That was needlessly graphic. Well bud, if you think that's bad, 1) I never got the chance to go to school, taught everything I know to myself and 2) I hate taking orders, ended up being sentenced to a firing squad or whatever for going AWOL, whatever that means. Going from an expert thief to a Guard isn't exactly simple. Especially since I was a lot younger at the time. And I was forced to do it."

He slowly made the griffon stop hugging him, "What I think you should do, what I would do, is screw their orders and let me into where the Captain is." An inner voice blatantly told him that this wouldn't work, but hell no going back from the result now.

[Lance]

The griffon made a dizzy stroll towards his zweihander after the hug was broken, and flourished it after a magnificent unsheathing out of the ground "no, you've asked the mad gods for a realistic world, you have it!" He was just about ready to lunge at Scrapper, ignoring any more speech tests, and stopped, suddenly. "Hold that thought, I need to use the wee laddie's room." He promptly left his sword behind, and did the infamous "peepee dance" on his way to the edge of the ship, where the other griffon was already mid-urinating. he shouted, "OY! THIS... IS... MY PISH SPOT, YA BELLEND!" and kicked his less intelligible counterpart off the ship, and started urinating himself. the other griffon must have forgotten that he could fly.

[Scrapper]

"Ugh, so unprofessional at everything aren't you. Now I have nothing to do but sit here and waaiii- Maybe not." He said in a mildly amused tone of voice as he picked up the Griffons sword and hid it carefully so he'd have to look for it.

After doing that, he took a pleasant stroll into the Captains office and shut the door behind him like it was never opened. And by that he locked it from the inside.

[Lance]

"Possession is always nice." a voice from a random crate in the corner said, as the now-slightly-cooler-for-a-while Scintillance climbed out and approached Scrapper.
"I feel like punching things all of a sudden."

On the other side of the room, Sir Captain Fendrel De Guiffart was hiding behind his desk at the sight of the intruders. If he still had that personal bathroom in his office like before he'd be hiding in there instead. He popped his head out to say, "I'm... I'm willing to negotiate...! If you'd like that is..." he said in a frail voice.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper just had a confused look on his face, he randomly appeared in the sky, went insane and talked about bicycles made of meat, walked in on things relieving themselves, a victim of perversion and two alcoholics to get to this guy, and he turns out to be a frail, wimp of a captain.

He was about to speak, but nothing actually came out. He was just a bit confused, so in the end he just did nothing. Pretty much lost a turn to 'Confusion'.

[Lance]

"I'll handle this." Lance said as he trotted over to 'Sir Captain Fendrel De Guiffart'.
"Hold on, I'm trying not to break the board by slamming the dice again." He then said randomly, to then say after that, "Yes! I got that roll... Wait, what does that do? Gee I sure wish I was actually here to inform myself on what the hell this does." After about a minute of nothing he got bored and went with the clearly labelled 'Punch' option.

"I'll punch hi- *Cough/choke/cough* Why is it so bad for my throat to try fake his bloody voice, oh right, he sounds like a dolt. That's why!" He randomly started to say, to only be finished by the stallion behind him.
He then randomly punched the cowarding captain in the side, lightly because at this point he hadn't invested much in strength.
For reasons unknown to either Scintillance or Scrapper, that really hurt the Captain. He fell over and curled up into a ball in tears, "OOOOOOW! I haven't even done anything, what is your problem!?"

[Scrapper]

"Uhm, mate I think we shouldn't punch him. I know if I punch him his head'll explode but still. Just control that need to punch things, i know it's fun but try to hold it in for a second. Even though it's incredibly funny." He said after seeing the captain start tearing up.
Seeing how his actual job was to kill the captain and his was blow up the ship, wait... Why is he even here? Isn't the ship mean't to explode or something? Y'know, go boom boom?

[Lance]

During Scrapper's rant on telling him to not punch things, he was punching things. The captain to be a bit more precise, with an irritated, "UUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHH!" he finally replied with a "Fine. We have about a minute before things start blowing up, so do be quick."

"Waitwaitwaitwait WHAT!? Explosions!? I'm allergic to those!", "No you're not!", "Uh huh!", "Nuh uh!"
This goes on for almost a minute, then it just cuts out for utterly no reason because the actual soul of LightBulb decided to finally come back.

[Scrapper]

Whilst things stood still, Scrapper was just whistling innocently. Although it was kinda obvious that turns had been taken on observing the scenario.

"You left me alone for too long, I got bored. You punched a guy with your rubbish strength level, and he cried. Things will blow up in a minu- Uhm... A few seconds, because... REASONS!"

[Lance]

Reality shifted, suddenly, changing the scene to the hideout in the tunnels, with scrapper at a table, and on said table, a badly drawn map and multiple mini-models of ponies, griffons, and dice Scintillance trots into the room, making his way to the table. "well, that was absolutely necessary. now, where were... we... um... Scrapper... that's... not where we were... Scraps what the hay did you do?

[Scrapper]

Scrapper stopped whistling, "Oh, well. I got really bored 2 seconds after you left so i took a few turns for you. No problem, oh, you punched the Captain."

[Lance]

Scintillance flailed his hooves. "took a few turns for me!? Scrapper how did I get from the engine room to the captain's room in a few turns! and... why am I beating up the captain!? the mission was to kill the captain, and take out the engine. and you've went ahead and messed up everything? "boredom" is no excuse for replacing the GM to break rules and such!"

[Scrapper]

Scrapper gave a nice long 'Pfffft' in response, "The plan is fine, your killing the Captain by punching him and the place is going to blow up a few seconds after we continue playing. It's fiiiiine! Besides, you were actually making my head hurt with that bad imitation of an accent."

[Lance]

"punching him' isn't going to kill the captain in less than a few seconds. You should have made me conjure the Martyr and pile-drive the thing through his neck. or, killed him yourself! this is just... time wasting! and since when did we have timed explosives! it wasn't in the starting items either! Scintillance spoke as he checked over the new objects on the board.

[Scrapper]

"I don't know how you did it, maybe you pulled a MacGyver and used a needle and thread to suspend a barrel of explosives." He said back, "And technically we have a bit more time than a few seconds. You have to count the time WHILE the ship is exploding"

[Lance]

Scintillance gave an exaggerated sigh, "fine, fine! let's just, go with where you... misplaced us." he picked up one of the pieces resembling a griffon in one hoof, and via hardly explainable special effects, the scene changed around Lance and scrapper, returning them to the room with the coward captain, and the piece Lance held grew and became the coward-captain from before, bloody from too many unessesary punches, and now with an eye patch and a hook for a hand. Scintillance held the poor sod by the scruff of his neck, and conjured the Martyr, ready to slice at the griffon.

"Nothing personal, griffy, but we're kinda stuck here 'till we see your head rolling off-" Lance was cut off and sent off balance when a large explosion was heard bellow deck, and the whole ship tilted, vibrating wildly. in a moment of opportunity, the griffon/captain broke Lances' grip and took off through the door. "YOU SAID WE STILL HAD A FEW SECONDS!"

[Scrapper]

"You wasted them describing the new situation" He said whilst he shrugged at the explosion.

[Lance]

Lance snapped back, "more like you wasted them by making me punch the captain. seriously, how hard was it to just roll for the Martyr-summon? just... nevermind, you chase him. You're the one with the ridiculous speed stat."
Lance made a rushed trot to look outside, and the griffon pretty much just jumped off the edge of the abandoned ship. two dumbfounded blinks later, Scintillance finally said, "As I was saying, after you, Speedy."

[Scrapper]

Before Lance had a chance (Yeah, it rhymes) to check on what Scrapper was doing, he rolled his ability. Not intentionally this time, and by the time Lance would look back he would see Scrapper jumping off the side of the ship as well, screaming out loud, "EXPLOSIONS OF LIFE!" and holding a few sticks of lit dynamite.

[Lance]

Scintillance had absolutely no idea where the dynamite came from, but whatever the case, Scrappy's definitely about to be way in over his head, and so leaped after scrapper conjuring the aegis in case those explosions go off.


Meanwhile, the griffon captain could barely keep himself afloat, but managed through his bruises, upon seeing Scrapper, he turned to free-fall, hoping to stay out of Scrapper's reach, but the pony had already managed to pick up more speed than the captain, and was closing the distance fast.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper eventually got close enough to grab onto the Griffon, holding on tightly whilst repeatedly punching him and hitting him with the dynamite, "CAREFUL! ALLERGIES CAN BE DANGEROUS!"

Every hit with the dynamite indicated it was going to explode in a few moments, maybe after a turn or two.

[Lance]

The poor Captain could've sworn he was done with the whole getting punched ordeal. but seriously, getting punched by DYNAMITE didn't quite make things any better. All the poor Griffy could do, really was just cover his face from the incoming punch-a-palooza.

[Scrapper]

It's simple, he continued the beating because the Captain was a wimp. The fuse decided it had enough and upon raising the stack of dynamite, he screamed, "IMOOORTAAAL!" as he brought it down, having it explode against the captains chest.

He didn't care how much Lance said 'No', that griffon would not survive and whole stack of dynamite exploding against his chest.
However, getting a kill with the explosion had taken all his Health Points. But thanks the his ability of regaining it all for getting a kill with the dynamite, he was perfectly fine, laughing and falling to his imminent doom whilst large shards of debris fall from the exploding ship.

[Lance]

Scintillance had already conjured the Avian while Scrapper went on that punching spree, and yelled things about the dynamite's explosions and the captain needing some kind of armor-save. He glided down and grabbed Scrapper nonetheless, avoiding debris on the way down. "Scraps, that was risky, rule breaking, utterly insane and pointless. would've lost all your experience if your health went past negative ten."

[Scrapper]

Scrapper in the real world started laughing aloud, "No sorry! That is part of the ability! If I have previously used the ability, the next time it's used I take out a stack of dynamite and am generally going to die unless I kill something with it. Then it resets, get your game right man!"

Scrapper in the game just blurted out, "STRIP THE FLESH!" as he slumped down and stared at the ground below. Lost in the confused mess of thoughts.

[Lance]

Lance in the real world wondered how best to explain what comes next. "well, Scraps, this pretty much marks the end of the dungeon. We can call it a day at this point, and roll your next dungeon after I had the chance to think one up, or we could play through getting your insane self to an inn somewhere; I think that's where you'd get bored, actually looking for the guy to pay you, and looking for a new client.

rp-wise, Scintillance kept descending, and the ground bellow came closer, revealing that the two ponies were to land near a small river "So, we can either camp here, or head back to the village."

[Scrapper]

"BUT I STILL NEED MY MEAT BICYCLE TO GET TO THE PUPPY POUND!" He screamed as they hit solid ground. Basically telling Lance it doesn't matter what we do.

[Lance]

Mulling over how many bits it'll cost to pay for everything scrapper breaks in his current state, definitely no village for him. while lost in thought, however, the Avian crashed into the ground in an angle that could only launch Scrapper and Scint forward. one short tumble later, Scint rubbed the back of his head, saying, camp out here it is. I'll leave the firewood to you if you still have that... axe... thing on you, and I'll see what berries and fruits won't kill us. well rested and well fed bonuses help." the surrounding area was something of a classic forest clearing, woods over yonder, woods other yonder, and woods all-the faffin' everywhere, really. 'course there's some smaller trees than others with branches that would make good firewood deeper in the forest, because that's how stuff works. just... just explain it by saying "ponies."

[Scrapper]

"I'D RATHER SNORT A KNIFE INTO MY BRAIN!" He yelled whilst sitting down, but after a few moments he actually picked up his buzzaxe and took a wander into forest.

[Lance]

Well the camera's following Scrapper again, and there's not much to say other than trees-trees-trees-trees-trees and -trees. try not to get lost. oh look, it's a tree. except this one's growling... oooookay, that's not a tree, that's a Timber wolf; lovely dogs made o' wood, and their bark's about as bad as their bite, and their breath is worse; anyone know what rotting wood smells like? me neither, but I'll go ahead and say it's something like rotting flesh, mixed with poop. Stop looking at me like!

whatever. there's a wooden dog growling at you from your left, what do you do?

[Scrapper]

OOooH, bad role. His personality traits plus his currant insanity level made him force taunt. It wasn't as desirable as one would hope...
"I'm the conductor of the POOP train!" he yelled as he just raised his axe and lowered it when he stopped talking. Just standing there laughing a little to himself.

[Lance]

The Timber wolf wasn't as amused as Scrapper may have been. However the taunt was effective; by locking the wolf into a berserk state, it could no longer have a chance to use its ability to summon the rest of its pack. it did, however berserk, and furiously lunged at Scrapper. with teech. and claws. well, more teeth; it tried to put it's teeth over Scrapper's hoof.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper kinda shrugged as the Timber Wolf charged at him, he saw it as cute. If you can believe that, but he is insane so, it's easy to expect.
As the wolf lunged at him he flung himself out of the way, as he got back up he yelled, "NO! DON'T DO IT! BAD DOG! I'LL PUT YOU IN THE BAD CORNER OF LOOOOVE!" he then charged at the Timber Wolf and planned to stick his lovely buzzaxe into the wolf's head.

[Lance]

somehow, the agile timber wolf tripping balls-on-zerk somehow feigned a lunge at scrapper, and rolled to his right. (he did a barrel roll) the wolf then lunged at Scrapper from behind, and again, tooth and claw out.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper decided to throw a firebomb at his feet when the Timber Wolf floored him, the firebomb he got from one of this Griffons he killed at the start.
He had enough HP to survive it, and that probably meant the Timber Wolf did too. But its his weakness so screw him. So at this point, they are both on fire. Probably.
"MELT FOR ME PASTY CAKES!" he shouted happily.

[Lance]

The timber wolf was blown back a few feet, and sure, the fire was elementally effective against him, but he still had some fight him him left. now the wolf is also on fire, which elementalizes its attacks. meaning, it learned the move "fire fang." and tried its luck at one more leap at scrapper before the fire burns it completely.

[Scrapper]

Well, that is clever. Use a fire attack on somebody who's already on fire. That gives it almost no bonuses. Did I mention he finds fire cuddly and warm? Well that wont help either I think.
His inner sane self was going 'Ow! Ow! Ow!' his currant self just screamed, "KEEP WARM!" as he threw his buzzaxe at the lunging wolf.

[Lance]

in mid-air, dodging's not an option, and the wolf's weakened burning lumber was cut clean in half, leaving the poor lifeles thing to flop against scrapper, as it broke apart and became none more than twigs flying at him. well, twigs, and two halves of a small log that used to be its torso.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper was still on fire, not really bothering to put it out or anything. What kinda remained of the Timber Wolf seemed usable enough to him. Just in case he picked up a couple other large sticks and crud and started dragging it back to wherever he came from.

"IT HURTS! HAHAHAH! IT HUUURTS!" 'This is kinda awful, but mostly awesome', "I KNOW!", 'You wanna put yourself out at least?' "NO! NONONONO!", 'Ok then. Just, burn to death then.' "YESYESYESYESYES!"

This kind of arguing would probably continue until Lance showed up, or something tried to kill him. To which after he'd continue arguing.

[Lance]

Lance was in the middle of setting up a tent thing by the water when scrapper arrived. he looked up from his work and gawked with wide eyes, "WHOAH, Scrapper, do I even want to know how you caught fire in a forest?" Stopping himself in a moment of thought, Scintillance pulled out a sticky note and wrote the last thing he said down in his usual fashion. "I think I can write an actual poem solely on this one... 'caught fire in the forest and the river's right there; I could set things straight, but no longer can I care...' what do you think, Scra-OH FOR THE LOVE OF GET IN THE WATER!"

[Scrapper]

'He's actually right y'know.', "SHUT-SHUT-SHUT-SHUT UP!", 'Yeah, great. Fires warm, but if you don't put it out you'll die eventually.', "STOP JUDGING ME!", 'Just get it the water.', "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!", 'I deserve this...', "YEP!".

As expected the arguing continued, Lance might be a bit freaked out by the random shouting, but he should be more so when he decides to, "GET OUTTA MY HEAD!" use the blunt side of his buzzaxe to smack himself in the head. Trying to get his sane self to shut up. 'Dude, what are you doing?', "QUIET!" bam, another good smack to the head. With those two good smacks and the already earned fire damage that sucked his health away during travel he went into a 'Incapacitated' state and needed help.

[Lance]

Lance was absolutely confused by the insane scrapper, as he actually tried to talk to the mad lad between his outburst yells, and received hardly fitting responses. Scrapper bonked himself on the head and Lance backed up in surprise, and the second bonk that set him to sleep made him wonder whether to drag the poor sod into the water, or just leave him be. the latter was a stupid idea so he went with the former... after setting up a fireplace, and using Scrappers' tail to start a fire. fireplace at ready, Lance just threw Scrapper into the water via magic, and hoped the sudden water would wake him up and splash some sense into him.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper did wake up, but without the sense. He immediately jumped out the water and his sane self tried to make himself say, 'Ok, tell him thanks for stopping your death at least'. To which he actually said, "THERE'S NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE!"

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